Wedding wear

A couple of questions from readers are answered.

I RECEIVED an SOS recently asking me whether I provide any personal tips on fashion. Frankly, fashion is personal. I’ve always believed it’s up to the individual to interpret fashion as she sees it and apply it to herself accordingly. Your judgement is the best judgement.
An example of a modern baju kurung with shortened sleeves and sarong that would be appropriate for a Malay wedding. This is from a previous collection by local designer Rizalman Ibrahim. – File photo

I’ve never been a fan of personal stylists (except for fashion shoots, of course, when they can be so helpful) as there’s nothing worse than seeing clones of yourself around town. Having said that, since this is a fashion column, I can give reader KD a nudge in a certain direction at least about what to wear to a Malay wedding reception in Kuala Lumpur. She gave me some details to work with (age, height, body stats) as well as the theme.

For Malay weddings, I think traditional dress is the best choice unless the invitation states otherwise. Regarding colour, I can’t specifically pinpoint that, as I haven’t seen KD in person, but nobody can go very wrong by choosing either pastels for a fresh and pretty look or bold colours to make a statement with.

If the baju kurung is made from plain material, add embellishment or wear accessories; if the material is floral or print, go easy on the accessories and embroidery. Traditional baju kurung cuts are flattering, while modern kurungs are cut closer to the body and will give you some shape. As for sleeves and necklines, at this point, anything goes. If it’s too much of a hassle to think about whether your sleeves should be long, short, batwing or puffed, go with the original kurung. The same goes for the necklines.

For a kebaya, sulam (traditional embroidery) would be nice paired with a silk sarong. Organza only works if you’re thin, as it has a nasty habit of adding excess kilos by puffing up, so go for soft materials. Loose kebayas look awful, so if you’re going to spend the rest of the night wondering if your butt looks huge or if any love handles are showing, don’t wear a kebaya.

The only time I think shoes and bags should match are when wearing kurungs, otherwise anything strappy and glittery, with a small bag or clutch, will do for all traditional outfits. Never carry day bags or large bags with traditional dress for night functions – this should be an absolute rule!

I personally find the selendang (shawls) irritating. No one seems to know what to do with it, it keeps sliding off the shoulders, and it usually ends up squished into your evening bag halfway through dinner. I don’t know who decided it’s proper to wear it. I think the selendang should only be worn on your head.

And really, it doesn’t matter what the theme or colour of a Malay wedding is. Unless you’re part of the family or entourage, there is no need for you to be in the same colour as the decor. I know some people live by the maxim “fashion before comfort”, but wedding receptions can last for hours, and while it’s fun to upstage someone (let’s face it, wedding receptions are like a fashion parade of the latest traditional outfits, bags and bling), if there’s going to be pain involved, it’s not worth it. (Except if the other woman will be there, then yeah, grit your teeth and go for it!)

Finally, several people have asked me what I mean when I say, “Never pay retail and never explain” in my bio at the bottom of the column.

Never pay retail means that I prefer as much as possible to not pay the amount on the price tag. Why? Because designer items are usually overpriced, and most will go on sale a few weeks or months later. If everything has a price, it stands to reason there will be a better price later or elsewhere, right? Go bargain hunting. Get a discount. Always. How? If not at sales, go to the outlets, either factory or warehouse.

When I say, “Never explain”, I’m talking about style choices. Do you need to explain or justify to anyone why you want to go tribal this season or get a Prada bag with faeries printed on it? These things do not require an explanation. Especially to people who wouldn’t understand.


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